that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
