you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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