I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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