does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize