office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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