he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
