hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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