When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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