My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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