At least make sure they are 18
Why
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Randomize
