I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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