I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
