dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
