I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize