i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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