My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
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