you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
