Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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