; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
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