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• (562): View more from California

  The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!

  (916): View more from California

  Awkward!

  (562): View more from California

  No he was cute and I said yes!

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• (310): View more from California

  Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.

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• (810): View more from Michigan

  Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.

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• (518): View more from New York

  Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.

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• (801): View more from Utah

  P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.

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• (432): View more from Texas

  I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.

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• (626): View more from California

  I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...

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• (559): View more from California

  His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY

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• (212): View more from New York

  Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato

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• (406): View more from Montana

  this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here

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• (551): View more from New Jersey

  90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing

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• (209): View more from California

  Why is my belly button ring in my ear

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