I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Ladies don't puke and tell
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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