before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
