we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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