he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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