Ambien. No doubt about it.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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