Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
