i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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