I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
