the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize