She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Randomize
