Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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