if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
