The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
