I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
my nose is crying tears of wow.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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