K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
