please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
