I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Randomize
