I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
