I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
