You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
