Having a random hookup so left but love u
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Randomize
