the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
