Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
