just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
