Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Randomize
