Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
