talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
