so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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