i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
