we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
You need a sexual gate keeper
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
