So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
