Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
