real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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