Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize