Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
