is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
