I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
