I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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