Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
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