I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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