Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
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